Day 22 Nearly there

 Ive managed to get to within spitting distance of Christmas without actually mentioning this Christmas much at all.  Its been an odd blog this year but I thank you for allowing me to delve into the topic of fear and sort out my thinking about it.  For the last three days I shall endeavour to delight you with deep and meaningful prophetic insights as in years gone by.

The past several days have been hideously annoying.  My car was playing up so I booked it in with my wonderful mechanic, Ray last Wednesday.  Wednesday teatime he said it was ready to pick up but Keith wasnt home till after closing so on Thursday he dropped me down to pick it up.  I went into the office to pay and realised Id left my purse at home.  Bother.  Told Ray Id be back in ten minutes and drove home to get the purse.  Halfway back to the mechanics the car shuddered to a complete halt.  Phoned Keith who came to rescue me and I limped the car into the garage and left Ray scratching his head.  A week later I still didnt have the car back.  But this is a week before Christmas and I really do have quite a few things to do, not to mention a huge pile of parcels arriving at various drop off points over a series of days.  Im stuck in the farm miles from anywhere.

On the day of a very very windy storm I walked a 6 mile round trip to pick up a couple of parcels.  I shouldnt have done.  I got blisters on my feet and nearly got blown off the verge into the path of oncoming traffic on a number of occasions.  A couple of days later Keith took pity on me and asked if I wanted to go to the local Outlet place after tea to do some shopping.  Yes I did.  Still got presents to buy. Specifically a 'skull beanie' (hat) for Josh.  Bound to be one in one of the half dozen outdoor/sporty shops at the Outlet. Yes?.... Nope.  So on the way home from a reasonably fruitless shopping expedition I asked Keith if he could stop at the bank so I could lodge a cheque Id been carrying around for a fortnight.  He obliged.  I jumped out of the car, stuck my card in the machine and pressed ' lodge cheque'.   The machine said ' Sorry we cant do that at the moment'  I waited for it to give my card back.  It didnt.  I pressed a few buttons.  Nothing.  Getting cross now.  Finally I got the card back and stomped back to the car.  Keith said did I want to try the Post Office in the Supervalue in the next town.  Will it be open at 7pm?  Looked it up on t'internet.  Internet says yes it is.  Arrive there.  No it isnt.  Post Office counters (at the shop checkouts) is open but they dont do lots of regular Post Office stuff.  Guy in front is picking up parcels which are at the far end of the shop and it takes ages.  Get to counter and tell the girl I want to lodge a cheque.  Go to give her my bank card.  Said card is nowhere to be found.   


Did I leave it in the cash machine or drop it on the road?  Sod it.  Im now well and truly hacked off.  Get Keiths card and lodge the cheque after yet more shenanigans.  Get home with Keith now fretting that our worldly wealth is going to be drained from our bank account.  He looks up how to cancel the card and it says I have to phone the bank.  Bank is of course closed and theres an automated message being chirpily annoying and saying to phone back in office hours.   Keith and I not speaking to each other cos we both know if either of us says anything the world will descend into more chaos.  After a few minutes Keith goes out to the car and comes back waving the lost bank card.  Which must have fallen out of my hand/bag/purse when I got into the car after the cash machine .   Phew.  But minimal rejoicing cos at this stage stress levels are at volcanic proportions.

 Somewhere in the middle of all this I have a thought.  And the thought is that the same principles that apply to dealing with fear also apply to dealing with annoyance, feeling hacked off, wanting to kill someone and general grumpiness.  In other words...... anger

This Christmas you will be doing really well if at some point you dont just want to yell at someone.  Or maybe that's just me.  😉  Where I don't tend to let fear into my life much, I let anger in way way too often.  I seethe.  Seethe is a good word isnt it?  Perfectly describes that barely contained bubbling resentment and annoyance which makes us grit our teeth and think uncharitable thoughts.  And the funny thing is that I dont recognise it until its boiling over.  And by then its hard to catch the jumbling thoughts and get them captive.   In the same way that I see fear approaching and fend it off, I need to do the same thing with anger.  The enemy is clever.  He doesn't waste time attacking peoples strengths , he goes for their weaknesses.  My weakness is my propensity to get angry. 

Just off to re-read the entire blog inserting ' do not be angry' in place of do not be afraid!  Praying you have an entirely peaceful and annoyance-free Christmas 🙂


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